Everything I’ve learnt in the 20 years of my existence.
This is an open letter as much to remind myself as it is to share it with you.
1. Talk it out, sister.
The act of talking is like rejecting all the emotions you’re feeling at every moment right that second at the same rate it’s coming in- with words. A complete contradiction of bottling your thoughts and feelings, it let’s you be- unfiltered and helps define your own thoughts a little better to yourself. You offer insights and advice to yourself. Talk about the best therapy eh?
Let it all out. Sing if you can’t say it and allow yourself to sing as terribly as possible. Serenade over the shower jet like it’s no one’s business.
It’s taken me a while to get here, and I’ve decided to really embrace it because it makes me feel so light and happy.
2. Develop your own sense of humour.
This can only happen when you practice the first one. Find your own personal brand of humour. Practice in your everyday conversations with friends and family, try out your own brand of expressing your thoughts and feelings and observations about the world around you with humour.
I truly believe that this underrated skill is a part of our current evolution as a society. (think memes and stand up comedy). The ability to see and recognise the bullshit in the world and laugh about it. A very rare skill among people because everyone seems to get offended by everything these days. Live a little and laugh!
3. Have the self confidence of a 89 year old.
I was watching Katherine Ryan’s stand up on Netflix. When she spoke about having a 89 year old’s self confidence, it just stayed with me. When we’re young, we don’t have any sense of insecurities and by the time we get to 90, we’ve lived through all our insecurities and don’t have any anymore! Who cares what anyone thinks when you can just live to please and enjoy yourself and your life without drama? So live like you’re 89!
4. Know what is ‘My truth’.
Between people, there is one reality that they share but everyone has a different experience /different truth about the reality according to how they’ve experienced it by adding their own personal factors and bias of perception.
It’s ‘his truth’, ‘your truth’, ‘my truth’. Your perception of events is the reality you live in but that reality could be completely different for someone else. Don’t ask what happened, ask what’s your truth so you can aware of the reality they experienced and then dig deep, observe to know what actually happened with a completely unbiased opinion.
Other people’s versions of events aren’t necessarily lies. That’s just how they saw events unfold with their emotional conscious influencing their perception.
5. Love, respect and believe in yourself before seeking it from someone else.
Never berate yourself or anyone else- don’t call a guy an asshole or call a girl a whore or a skank because then people think it’s okay to address someone as that.
Learn to take a compliment. Love, respect and believe in yourself because even through all your imperfections, you know you’re perfect.
Always remember, you teach people how to treat you. So treat yourself well.